I read an interesting article in my local paper this past weekend. The title caught my eye, “Study Finds Middle Age is Misery.” How depressing! I just didn’t agree, so I had to read it to find out more.Read more below.
The original article is from the Los Angeles Times. Thankfully their title reads slightly more positively...well not really, "Study Finds Happiness Lowest at Midlife." Here is how the article begins:
“Research released this week has found that happiness over the course of a lifetime follows a universal curve in which the greatest bliss occurs at the beginning and end of life, while misery dominates the middle age.”
Yikes!
The study which will be published in the journal of Social Science & Medicine found that in the U.S. happiness reached its lowest point around age 40 in women and age 50 in men. Many of us are already in this phase of our life. I must say I am happier now than I was in my 20’s. I liked my 30's and I am enjoying my 40's.
Richard A. Easterlin, a USC economist who also studies happiness but was not involved in this study, said that “midlife misery is not inevitable. In fact, his research shows that when such factors as income and marital status are included in the calculations, midlife is the happiest stage of life. Finances and family life tend to improve as midlife approaches, he said, and after that things gradually get worse.”
Yikes, again!
How about approaching life more positively? Obviously, we experience challenges and frustrations during each phase of our lives. How we approach these difficulties is important. How we frame things is important. Our outlook on life is important.
One possibility for the findings in the first study…cheerful people live longer, driving the curve up higher.
What are your thoughts?
Photo © Microsoft
My thought? Too many to share. I came across this post because of a Google search on midlife and ADD.
I’m a 39 year old male with ADD, who was diagnosed as an adult. What I’m dealing with now is the reality that the time in my life when my peers were advancing in career and education, I was struggling to keep my head above water. Everyone moved on without me.
Now, with treatment, I can do much more than I could before. But when I turn to the dreams of what I wanted to become back during my 20s, I find the time to reach for them seems to have passed.
Now, the obligations of work and responsibility of family take precedence over everything else. For moment I thought I had an opportunity to reach for them one more time, but those obligations I mentioned grew and the opportunity faded.
I know where my passion lies. I had the briefest moment to pursue it, and the briefest taste of what that was like. But now, it is something I pursue only when everything else is done and everyone else is satisfied.
In other words, I’m getting the leftovers of my own life. But trying to grab anything than that means shortchanging either my employer or my family.
I’ve attempted to switch to a job more aligned with my passion for writing, but thus far to no avail. Just yesterday, in a meeting, I happened to hear that a job I’d wanted and applied for (spending a lot of time and energy making sure there were no errors in my letter, resume, or writing samples) was going to someone else.
Another blogger, actually. A younger blogger, with a higher profile, who was able to parlay blogging into a writing as a career. Someone with the time and freedom, and at a time in their lives when they have probably fewer responsibilities than they ever will later.
Earlier that day, I happened to be sitting at lunch with a coworker and a former twenty-something coworker who was visiting from her first semester in a prestigious graduate program at a prestigious school. I listened to her talk about how much she enjoyed it. The conversation turned and I found myself trying to explain all of the above.
It was like trying to talk to someone whose language you don’t know, in a language they don’t understand. I gave up, and went back to my desk thinking “This is the kind of person who will graduate in a few years, come back, and probably end up being my boss.”
I went home to my family: a doctor husband who’s was able to become what he wanted to be, and two sons who still have countless opportunities to become what they want to be. As a parent I will do everything in my power to help them.
But, at the end of the day, I have to wonder: Did I miss my turn? Am I already everything I’m going to be?
Hi!
I wanted to say a similar thing to the previous contributor.
I’m now 46 and until I was 42 I raised a family from the age of 19 until they grew up and flew the nest. At 42 I knew little of the world and didn’t feel confident in doing the things I wanted. I’ve pushed myself and learned a lot these last 4 years and feel confident in almost any situation. As a consequence I want more and I see and feel more. It’s like my world has opened up and I want more of it, but I am unable to get it! I have wanted to travel since I was a child and only now can I do it. But I realise that I am in a bad position. If I give up my job now and go, then I will return in say 3 years and have a hard time getting work. All my money is tied up in my home and renting out my home and leaving it to strangers is a risk I really don’t want to take. It i my pension, I have nothing else. I have no family (i.e. brothers, cousins etc)to turn to if I got into difficulties abroad and I feel that I might end up regretting it when I’m old and maybe have health issues and a lower standard of living because of using my money to live my dream. I am currently really thinking hard about all this. I do not want to continue working, paying billsand just plain getting old – I’ve lost the best years of my life already to my family and now it’s my turn, but at what price?
Yeah, it’s miserable! Because it is real and reality must be faced head-on, not “reframed” or rationlaised or use “positive thinking” to plaster over the cracks. Face it, feel it, deal with it.
Terry