Personal Stories of ADD - Part 1
One reader posted a question, “What is it like NOT to have ADD/ADHD?” I asked readers for comments to this question. The response was overwhelming.The following is a list of some of the responses. The ADHD experience is unique for each individual. The comments below reflect individual personal experiences and opinions. While some of these symptoms and behaviors can often be part of the ADD/ADHD picture, they are not inevitably so and can also be present independent of the diagnosis.
Living Life to the Fullest
One of our regular readers, Elna, shares about her adventures and thrills of life with ADHD:
“While I could have done without being called ‘stupid’ at school and being made an example in front of many classes when I made mistakes or didn't hear what was being said because my mind was not in the classroom but was busy watching a bird outside the window or watching a plane high in the sky (I always sat by the window in class -- I felt less ‘confined’ and closer to being outside where my mind often went), I would never trade my ADHD for the chance to be a non-ADDer.I may never have experienced the thrill of taking on challenges that many average people had no desire to do. Bungee jumping, parachuting, climbing steep cliffs just because they were there and I wanted to climb them. I may have never learned how to fly a plane, get my pilot's license and learn to do ‘stunt flying’ by trial and error. Crash landing my first plane in the Long Island Sound because I forgot to check my fuel gauge was another ADHD ‘oops,' but I survived...my plane didn't!
If I did not have ADHD, would I have the impulsivity and lack of fear when someone was in need of help that made me fight my way past firefighters who tried to stop me from going into a burning building to save a woman? I got her out and she is still alive today. It has been said that many people who choose challenging jobs like firefighters, police work, E.R. nursing and many other challenging jobs most likely have some ADHD in them. I believe it as my friends are those in these challenging professions and we speak the same language, the language of ADDults and only ADDults can understand what I mean.
Would my mind be as creative as it is if I didn't have ADHD? Would I be interested in learning something new all the time? Would I be aware of everything going on around me and still comfort a family member whose loved one was dying at the same time if I were ‘average’? That ability is crucial to me and I can react to any emergency quickly. I can hear a cry for help over any noisy conditions and I respond. Would I have the ‘sixth sense’ that could predict when a ‘Code Blue’ was coming into the E.R. and set up for it before the radio transmission came through, if I were average? Would I ‘feel’ when a friend or family member was ill or just ‘down’ and in need of help? I don't know.”
If I Didn’t Have ADD/ADHD, What Would Be Different In My Life?
Another reader, Judi, responds to the question. She says:
I would…And, from another view point:
Parenting an ADHD Child
Nancy, who does not have ADHD, but is a mother of an ADHD child who is struggling in school, shares that life has been very difficult recently. She expressed feeling especially emotional, protective, and worried for her son. Here are Nancy’s thoughts about how life is different for those who do not have ADHD:
- I'm accepted without judgment.
- My basic personality is not perceived to be rude or bad or arrogant.
- I am free of frequent injury because I am not always falling, bumping into things, and breaking things (clumsy).
- I have friends.
- I can talk to people about things that interest them.
- I am at peace.
- I can enjoy life experiences; I can stay in the moment.
- I can be around groups of people without getting lost in the crowd.
- I can process, organize, attend to, and postpone most any thought in my head.
- I remember people's names.
- I understand direction, instructions, the action & reaction thing (consequences).
- I sleep at night.
- I can control my frustration and anger.
- I do not experience heightened levels of emotion as a routine.
- Being in a specialist's office or therapist's office is not part of my normal routine.
Feeling Self Conscious
Jennifer shares:
“I am a 38-year-old mom, wife, and college student that was diagnosed with Adult ADHD 3 years ago. I also have a son with the diagnosis. If I did not have ADHD, I would assume that I would be able to give well-thought out, professional responses to questions in my criminal justice class rather that the ‘Dick and Jane’ answers I currently give because my brain moves quicker than my mouth. I always sound so dumb. If only they could see that I really have good answers....”When I asked Jennifer to make a list of her strengths, this is what she sent:
- I can work on my OWN vehicle (the basics, anyway).
- I want a career helping young victims of sexual abuse.
- I am a child’s advocate in family court.
“OK...so I DO have some good qualities...but I would still REALLY like to come up with answers that totally floor my professor!”
Judging from Jennifer’s career choices, I imagine she is also quite nurturing and empathetic.
Take Home Message
Thank you to all the readers for sharing such personal experiences. ADHD presents itself differently in each individual. Some common themes can be found. Find support and self acceptance, self care, nurturing strengths, developing strategies to help minimize weaknesses, and surrounding yourself with positive people who appreciate your gifts and understand how ADHD impacts your daily life. All these strategies are helpful for living life to the fullest and finding joy in the ADHD experience.
More Personal Stories:
ADD Experience - Part 2
ADD Experience - Part 3
