Are you looking for a simple, but effective parenting strategy you can use to help train and reward appropriate behavior? Try the Marbles in a Jar technique.
What you need:
Marbles
2 Jars
One jar that is low and flat like a fish bowl, so you can reach your hand in to easily pull out a marble. The other jar should be taller and thinner like an olive jar, so you can plunk the marbles in and your child is able to see the marbles mount up taller and taller as he or she earns more.
Before implementing the Marbles in a Jar strategy, sit down with your child and together develop a plan. Identify the positive behavior you want to see and come to an agreement on the number of marbles that will need to be earned in order to earn a larger reward. Identify the larger reward before beginning.
Here is an example:
Behavior you want to see – Sam will take a bath, put on pajamas, and brush his teeth at bedtime without reminders.
So every time Sam completes each task successfully, the parent adds a marble to the jar. In this example, Sam could potentially earn 3 marbles a night for completing each of the tasks. For the week he has the potential to earn 21 marbles. (You can also condense the time downward if your child responds better to shorter term goals) Each time Sam is successful, the parent transfers a marble from the flat jar to the slim, tall jar.
Ahead of time Sam and his parents have agreed on a trip to McDonald’s for a treat as the larger reward. They have also agreed that Sam needs to earn 16 marbles in the week in order to earn this larger reward.
Sometimes parents may feel a temptation to take away marbles when the child is misbehaving, but it is best to avoid using the marbles as punishment. The point of the Marbles in a Jar technique is to reinforce positive behaviors, to strengthen new behavior or low frequency behavior. Start small and chose one or two behaviors that your child needs to work on. Have fun and be sure to give your child lots of praise (without overdoing it) as he or she makes steps toward reaching his goals.
Source:
Michael Manos, PhD. Phone interview/email correspondence. December 8, 2009 and January 18, 2010
