Readers Respond: Tips for Helping Children Succeed in School

What are some of the ways in which you have helped your child (or if you are a teacher, your students) succeed despite -- perhaps even because of -- his or her learning differences?

If you are an adult with ADHD, what was most helpful for you as a child?

Great tips and great advice!

I so agree with finding a place for your child to shine and where they can have success - whatever form success takes. I have ADHD(combined) myself and have long suspected that my daughter has inattentive ADD, and have been struggling with the school system in Japan where we live - where ADD/ADHD is not widely recognized and supported. I am almost at my wit's end with my child's teacher who has recently labeled my child lazy and unmotivated. My daughter has been struggling with memorization of her characters for reading and her times table. What helped her not to completely lose heart in the 2nd grade was going to a private after-school tutoring program. They tailor the program to each child and they progress through at their own pace, practicing over and over. I will never forget my daughter's excited face as she showed me her worksheets with a huge red 100 on them. "Mummy I got 100%! ...... there's 7 papers - so it's 700%!!" Oh bless her:)

—Guest Alison

Teaching the Vowels

One lesson I achieved with language skills that was eventually incorporated into a sign-language exercise, was teaching the vowels with our mouths by rounding our lips in a way that expressed exactly what we felt, and meant to say. Then gradually vocalizing the depth of the word my students intended to communicate. This Language Arts lesson was intended to use both Sign and ESL forms so that our pronunciation of syllables conveyed intent, meaning and relevance in every word spoken. My students loved doing the exercise.

—Guest Robben Wainer

ADHD and School

I want all parents of elementary students to know that my son who was labeled as a behavior problem just started middle school (7th grade). Academically he is an average A-B student. He currently is maintaining a 90% or above average in ALL classes. Some of his teachers actually asked if he really is a behavior problem, since they don't see it. The teachers in elementary school can make all the difference. He had 3 great ones (1st, 3rd and 5th) and 3 lousy ones (2nd, 4th and 6th). Part of the problem was the principal who wouldn't rein in her teachers! I noticed that the teachers who didn't do well with my son were old school and wouldn't acknowledge ADHD. This needs to change dramatically. They also need to get rid of outdated teachers! Shame on the unions for keeping them beyond their effective contribution to society. Parents there is light at the end of the tunnel. Never stop believing in your child or advocating for him or her!

—Guest ADHDMOM58

Orchids/Dandelions

The emphasis in our society on compliance is not what allowed our country to lead the free world. I appreciate the opportunity to read about this very talented person. I think the ongoing research summarized in this article http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200912/dobbs-orchid-gene supports the points made in the Mooney article. The whole debate is sometimes sidetracked by the issue of whether to medicate or not. The problems of acceptance and working in creative ways to develop these kids’ talents is much larger and critical to our continued leadership in the world economy.

—molsof

Getting Help

It is vital that children with ADHD are given the expert help and environment they need to develop and succeed at a pace that is suitable for them. No two children develop and learn exactly the same. This needs to be understood all the more with this special group of learners.

—livechatcounselor

Nuture Talents

As an adult diagnosed in recent years with inattentive ADD, I know only too well what it is like to grow up feeling different, having to try harder to achieve than others, even though you have this gut feeling you are brighter than others, and the low self esteem that comes with it! I suspect my 6 year old son has inattentive ADD. Through my own experiences as a child I am able to really understand where I can assist him in keeping a healthy self esteem. I intentionally put him in childcare as soon as he was old enough, only for a day or two a week, just so that he learned to socialize. For him individual sports are where he excels, he daydreams in team sports and doesn’t like being the centre of attention - say by kicking a goal! He does have mild problems reading but I know that is not an intellectual thing but an ADD thing. We focus on what he is good at, such as his incredible artistic flair, feel for music and his ready sense of humor. Focus on their strengths and nurture them!

—Guest Caroline Pontello

Validation

As an adult, I am painfully aware of the self image problems that come with learning disabilities. Since childhood, I have known that my mind simply did not function as well as my school mates. To explain this to parents and teachers, eventually employers was impossible. I knew I was trying my best, I did not doubt that, but came to accept the assessment of others, that I was lazy and just not trying. After years of depression and alcohol abuse, I was diagnosed. "It" was not my fault. I came to realize that "I" am a valid person. "I" do not need to apologize for what I have accomplished. I would not want to be anyone other than who I am. Nor do I need to have the approval of anyone. But, if I had that validation, it all would have been so different. A little encouragement would have gone a long ways. Validation is essential for little boys and girls as they grow up. Little hearts and spirits are too easily crushed. Fifty years is far too long to wait.

—nethinim

Tips for Helping Children Succeed

We find it best to keep our ADHD child in environments he can succeed in. If a traditional classroom is too much, we look for other options available at school. If a particular subject is too much, we look for ways he can meet the requirements in other ways. It's best to work with the school on alternatives. And, ask your child what he needs to be successful. He'll usually have the answer!

—Guest Mom (NJ)