Social graces and manners don’t come naturally to most children, and can be especially difficult for kids with ADHD. Parents can help children learn good manners by teaching, practicing, prompting, and rewarding these skills. What manners have you been successful in working on with your child? What are the strategies that worked?
Taking Care of 14 Year Old Sister
- My sister is living with my fiancé and me and I’m getting overwhelmed by things she does. We can’t take her in public without her acting like an 8 year old... she complains/ whines, asks questions nonstop, is always touching things or wondering off. If we go to dinner she taps or drums on the table or taps her feet loudly on the floor. She also has a hard time keeping her voice at indoor level, staying focused on one task, or listening to directions. I just don’t really know what to do with her other than medication. It seems like no matter how many times I correct her or explain things, nothing ever seems to stick.
- —Guest RachelBird
- I’m working with my 15 year old son on understanding the consequences of his actions when he does things without thinking. He has to learn that he can’t go through life not thinking before he reacts. He is in high school now and he has to learn to put himself in other people’s shoes to better understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of his impulsive reactions. It’s a slow process, but eventually he will learn.
- —Guest monica- Durban
- For our daughter we had the same problem so we wrote down on a paper we kept by the phone what to say and she just read it.
- —Guest Pam Kennedy
Trying To Understand ADD
- My boyfriend has a 12 year old son that have ADD. I’m just trying to understand the symptoms. At night when it is time for bed, it is hard for him to wind down. It will take no time for his daughter to go to bed. But for the son, it may take him 2+ hours to wind down. I don't treat him any differently from the two girls. I also have a daughter. The girls are 14 years old and nine months apart. They are on task and everything. So with that I do not treat the son any differently from the girls. Since his dad and I have been together I have seen a big improvement in his attitude and social status. I’m wondering if I am doing everything right, because I want to help him instead of hurting. I feel that his dad is treating him with the illness instead of treating like a normal teenager. I understand that he does have the ADD and development issues. He is a sweet kid and fun to be around. I have taken him to places and he has done excellent. I just want him to go far in life.
- We are working with our two ADHD children on not interrupting. They still interrupt, but it is less often thank goodness.
- —Guest SarahP
Not Unique to Kids
- What you may experience with your child when he/she is on the phone is not unique. I am and ADDult and have had problems on the phone since there was a phone. Somehow some ADDers need face-to-face situations to communicate. I get all confused and forget major things while I am on the phone, too, and scripting it doesn't always work because so much depends on the person at the other end whose eyes I do not see.
- —Guest Norbert
Using an Inside Voice
- My son tends to be really loud. When he enters a room you know he is there. Both his teacher and I have been working with him on understanding the difference between an "indoor" and "outdoor" voice. He is making progress slowly, but surely. We praise him whenever we notice him using a quieter voice tone. And we developed a signal to give him when he is getting too loud. His "calming down" a bit has even made a difference in more of his classmates wanting to be around him when he isn't so loud and boisterous. This has made him feel good.
- —Guest Guest
Do Not Spit on People!
- My kids are in Pre-K and Kindergarten and 1st grade, all ADHD in your face hyper type kids. It is so hard to remind them to hold back in public. It is like containing a tornado. We work on manners a lot at home, but get out and the first person we see gets the full treatment. Jumping up to be seen, grabbing on me and interrupting, continually asking questions of us both. Now, my daughter is blowing raspberries at them while happily vying for our full attention. She ignores their frowns and words of discomfort. I have to make a call afterwards and apologize to them for the spit in the face. I use negative discipline for their actions and positive discipline in their reward charts if I catch them acting positively in public. It is taking years to make a difference, but I am determined. In case I can't call...sorry for the spit!
- —Guest hopernch