Single Mom with a 6ft 13yr old with ADD
- I am a dedicated single mother of a 13yr son with ADD. My son is obsessed with TV and video games but refuses to focus on organizing his train of thought for school. His father is involved mainly in part to his mother’s direction, but acts as a 13yr old himself. He too is obsessed with TV and such and does not hold a job or help me with anything! I find myself struggling with this, and with my son’s ADD, school politics, his school work and paying the bills. To top it off, and refusing to give up, I am constantly telling my son to do every little thing around the house, which has become extremely tedious! I first knew something was wrong when my son was at the age of 2yrs. He was a little freight train running around our house. His energy was devastatingly overwhelming! All his teachers from Montessori, private K-6th, and now public 6-8th have complained in one way or the other. Tonight I find myself in tears with fear that my baby boy will grow up a failure:(
- —Guest juliemarie
Son w/ADHD Since He was 7 yrs old
- I work full-time, my ex gives little to no support with regards to my son's ADHD. My son is very creative and can be thoughtful. He has the usual forgetfulness, is argumentative and needs constant reminders of his self worth. Structure is really important. He doesn't like things to change, it upsets his applecart. It is very difficult and a constant struggle and yes, I am tired when I get home, however, if I don't force myself to do what is right and necessary for my son then who will and what will he become when I am no longer there! As to mainstreaming your child in public schools, educate yourself on your son’s civil and legal rights. Schools receive federal funding and our tax dollars to provide education to special needs children. Advocate for your child in the face of adversity! Don't believe that everyone is honest and upfront with you, keep digging, keep fighting and keep advocating!
- —Guest sameboat2
Sounds So Good in Theory
- I am solo ADHD mom with 13 year old ADHD son. So family meetings, dividing up the chores, etc. don't work for us. I have the routines, the lists, etc. but by time I get home from work I'm drained and don't have the energy for the fight to enforce.
- —Guest teamkobza
Single Mom, 3 Kids, We ALL Have ADHD!
- I was just diagnosed in November with ADHD, after a very nasty divorce. (married 11yrs) My oldest daughter was also just diagnosed and started on medication 2 weeks ago. My 6 year old daughter took the TOVA test due to ADHD being a genetic issue. The Dr. and I were shocked to see she did not even score high enough to be on the chart. My 2 year old boy is heading that way also. All I can do is educate myself and help understand how to deal with them. My 9 year old would throw tantrums just like my 2 year old and I felt like doing the same! I would yell and spank only to find out I was doing the opposite of what helps them. My culture does not believe in mental disabilities and according to all my family (1/2 show signs of ADHD) I am the crazy liberal one! Monica, I am in the same boat as you are. It is extremely hard, however I am their voice! I will help them achieve so much just by helping them understand their disability. OH BTW their father is totally against it, no help AT ALL!
- —Guest Erika
Just Figuring This Out
- I am a single mom, who is just figuring out that my younger son has ADD. Not ADHD. My older one is focused. The younger one acted out a lot, forgot everything, fought me on homework, and couldn’t remember for two seconds what I had asked him to do. He is 10, and went through the diagnosis tools with his doctor. I am proud that he can see his own difficulties, and wants to help himself. Meds will wait until fall with school. For now, we are working on a plan - lists, schedules, chores, etc that will help him be focused and less stressed. He will be doing school work over the summer with the nanny, and earning fun time. I actually am looking forward to the school year, instead of cringing when I think of the fights it causes. Thanks for the suggestions - art is great. I look forward to hearing more...
- —Guest kim
Any Advice?
- I have a 9 year old son, diagnosed with ADHD when he as 5, been on all sorts of meds. We think we found something that works but half the time he does not want to eat until dinnertime. Also, being a single parent with no additional support, I am having trouble keeping him in school. He currently was at a school with children much worse than he is with other mental disorders. This I feel has set us back. I cannot find a public school that will offer us special needs and mainstream him into a regular class. He is not a bad kid, just misunderstood and young for his age. He deserves to be with typical peers and receive assistance in a regular school.
- —Guest bman
Avoid Problems
- Rather than argue and struggle with your child, try identifying problems in advance and dealing with them before they arise. For instance, if a toy is likely to be a source of conflict, remove that toy long before it is time to argue over it at bedtime. If video games are a problem, have you considered putting away the games and the game system before arguing about time on the game? If food is a problem, first get the food out of sight, out of reach or out of the house before you discuss it with your child. In every problem there is probably some strategy you haven't thought of. It isn't bad to ask for help and ideas from other parents. Possibly, there is something obvious that simply has not occurred to you. I once had a student who would not work. He wanted to read a book all class period. After struggling for half a year, the student was transferred to another teacher...who took away his book until his work was done. So obvious! But I didn't think of it.
- —Guest M. Shipley
Keep TV Out of Children's Bedrooms
- For children with ADHD, really for any children, keeping the TV out of the bedroom, as well as video games and Internet, is of value. Many children can't focus in school because of too much media time. Make sure computers have parental internet control software, so children and teens don't get trapped in pornography addiction. That can affect mental health also. For children with ADHD, art is great. It helps them to focus and builds their self esteem.
- —John_W
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