Handling Criticism - Adult ADD and Emotional Reactions
Do you find that you are oversensitive to criticism?
This may be a hard question to answer. On the one hand as an adult with ADD you may have received a lifetime of negative feedback around behaviors. It is no wonder a person would feel sensitive! Add to this a difficulty in managing emotions and perhaps at times a tendency to overreact emotionally because you feel things so deeply. All of these factors make criticism especially difficult.
While you can’t control what others will do or say, you can work to control how you react. What are some ways to handle criticism so that it doesn’t lead to angry outbursts or further hurt to one’s self esteem?
- Develop an awareness of your reactions. How do you tend to respond?
- When faced with a situation in which you are receiving negative feedback from another person, try to step back and explore your feelings. Use self-talk. “I am hurt and angry. Is this an overreaction?”
- Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Ask yourself what is the best way to react and then respond.
- If you know there will be an interaction that is difficult, practice your responses beforehand. Rehearse in front of a mirror or even in front of a friend or adult family member. Seek their feedback and advice.
- If you slip up and find that you have overreacted to a situation, calmly leave and return to the conversation when you are feeling in better control.
- Be kind to yourself. Try not to turn the negative feedback inward or dwell on it to the point it is hurtful to your self-esteem. Learn from whatever is helpful feedback and disregard the rest.
- If you are unsure whether your feelings about an interaction are appropriate or exaggerated, talk with a trusted friend or adult family member to get feedback.
Additional Reading:
Tips for Approaching Social Situations
Tips for Maintaining Focus
Friendships and ADHD
Treatment of ADHD
Signs and Symptoms of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder
Source:
Kathleen G. Nadeau. Adventures in Fast Forward: Life, Love, and Work for the ADD Adult. Brunner-Routledge. 1996.
