What's it like for moms with ADD?
The phone is ringing. Two of your kids are arguing and yelling. The dog is scratching at the door to go out. Your toddler is at your feet crying and wanting to be picked up. The UPS guy is at the door with a delivery, waiting for your signature. Your husband is still at work. A pot of water is boiling on the stove ready for spaghetti noodles. Dinner is late. You are exasperated, tired, overwhelmed.
Being a mother can be tough! Moms are often the family manager, caregiver, disciplinarian, nutritionist, cook, homework helper, scheduler, taxi driver, mediator, nurse, and housekeeper. We fill so many different roles and these are just a few.
We strive to be “supermom” and inevitably fail to measure up. Moms can be very hard on themselves. Worry comes naturally. Guilt is second nature.
If these are common feelings that all mothers experience, imagine how a mom with ADHD feels! How on earth can she take on all these roles for her family, when she struggles daily with organizing and prioritizing her own life?
Christine A. Adamec, author of Moms with ADD: A Self-Help Manual, asked the following question to moms with ADD:
If you could make a magic wish related to your ADD (and can’t wish it gone), what would you wish?
Here are a few of the responses she received.
- For people to understand I don’t have to be a walking calendar to be a wonderful person.
- That I could be less hard on myself.
- That schools and workplaces would readily accommodate people with ADD.
- That the people I am closest to were as interested in ADD as I am and would educate themselves thoroughly.
- I wish my children’s father believed it existed at all.
If you are a mom, let go of the unrealistic “supermom” pressure. Be kind to yourself. Make a list of the things you are good at and embrace these qualities. If there are areas where you are weak, brainstorm strategies to help you cope with these weaknesses and remember that no one is good at everything! Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Educate your loved ones. Bring your husband to an appointment with your health care provider. You may try to explain your diagnosis, but sometimes hearing about ADHD from a doctor will give loved ones a better understanding about the condition and will help to validate what you are going through.
Together you can come up with strategies to help the home run more smoothly and give you the support you need.
Click on Practical Strategies at Home for Moms with ADHD to learn more.
Source:
Adamec, Christine A., Moms with ADD: A Self-Help Manual, Taylor Trade Publishing (2000).
Photo © Microsoft
