Build Self Esteem in Your Child
Days are often so busy. Our to-do list can sometimes be pages long. It may seem difficult to fit one more thing in, but regular one-on-one time with your child is very important. How often do you sit down with your son or daughter with no distractions, just focusing on him or her, listening without correcting, being together and soaking up positive one-on-one attention?
This special time is important for all children and it is especially important for child with ADHD. Unfortunately, children with attention deficit disorder are more likely to experience negative interactions -- socially with peers and even from adults who may end up correcting them repeatedly or getting frustrated with the ADHD behaviors. As a result, many kids with ADHD also suffer from low feelings of self-worth.
Parents are powerful influences in their child’s life. Children and teens who feel loved and valued and positively connected with their parents tend to have higher self-esteem and confidence and are also less likely to engage in acting out or risky behaviors.
One way to make sure your child is getting the positive attention he needs is to set aside at least 20 minutes a day of special time for just the two of you. Let your child choose how to spend the time. He may want to take a walk together, work in the garden, play a game of cards, prepare dinner together or just sit down and talk.
If you have more than one child, work out a schedule that allows you to spend alone time with each. If you have two kids, see if you can set up time with each daily. If this isn’t doable, set up alternating days. If you have three or more children, come up with a plan that will work for your family and be consistent with it.
Preserve this time. If the phone rings, let the answering machine pick up or better yet, turn the ringer off during the 20 minute time. Work hard to make sure there are no distractions. If one of the other children comes over and wants to join, you will have to remind her that this is her sibling’s special time and you will have time with her later, too.
Remember this is time for listening. Really listen to what your child is saying while you are together. Don’t interrupt, correct, teach or question. Listen. Reflect upon your child’s feelings. Respect your child’s opinions. You don’t have to agree with them, just acknowledge them without placing judgment. Keep this time positive and warm.
You may be surprised at how important this time becomes for the two of you!
Additional Reading:
Parenting Your ADHD Child
Parenting Your ADHD Teen
Tips for Maintaining a Scream-Free Home
Homework Strategies
Source:
Daniel G. Amen, MD. Change Your Brain Change Your Life. Three Rivers Press. 1998.
