Medication can make a huge difference for many children with ADHD. Sounds like this is the case with your teenage son. Without the medication, he struggles to control impulsiveness and boundaries with his younger brothers and interacts with them in an aggravating, unproductive way. It may help to talk with your son's doctor to see if a rapidly acting dose of stimulant medication taken a little earlier in the morning is an option.
It can be difficult to be a sibling of a child with ADHD. It may feel like there isn’t enough attention to go around when the child with ADHD requires so much. Days at home may feel exhausting, chaotic and unpredictable, especially when the sibling is on the receiving end of the acting-out behavior. Below are a few more strategies that may help.
Increase Supervision
Before the medication kicks in, it is very difficult for your teen to control his behaviors. You may need to provide increased supervision during this time, so the children don’t end up coming to blows. Your younger children are beginning to get fed up with the hyperactive and impulsive behaviors and may even react back in a provoking way themselves — as siblings will inevitably do.
Tighten Routines
The other strategy that may help is to tightly structure your children’s, especially your teen’s, morning time routines. Sit down with the children and openly talk about the problems. Have them help come up with the solutions. They may want to make a list of the morning routines to post. They can make the list on paper or you can purchase small dry erase boards for them to use. These boards are fun to use and may make the plan more enticing.
Rewards
If your children are interested, work with them to come up with a simple reward system. Remember that it will be very hard for your teen to control his impulses without his medication. Make the goals for him simple, so he can experience successes. Though the children will earn rewards separately, depending on their own progress toward their goals, it is nice to have them all participate and hopefully encourage one another toward success.
Give the Younger Children Tools to Handle ADHD Behaviors
You may also want to spend some time talking with the younger children about feelings related to their older brother’s behaviors. Give them a safe place to vent and be heard. Brainstorm with them ways they can handle their older brother's problematic behaviors. Practice appropriate ways they can respond when he starts poking them and getting in their space or when he hides their things.
