If you’re a parent of a child with ADHD and you’re experiencing some struggles with your partner, you’re not alone. In fact, parents of kids without ADHD often experience marital strife due in part to the stress of raising a child. Still, raising a child with ADHD can bring a special set of circumstances that can test even the strongest of marriage bonds. Research has even indicated that parents of children with ADHD are almost twice as likely as other parents to divorce by the time their child is 8 years old!
While a child’s ADHD itself doesn’t cause the breakups, the stress of parenting a disruptive child can certainly create strain within a family and increase other marital conflicts. Research finds that when parents interact with an ADHD child, they are more distressed, argue with one another more and view one another as less supportive, compared to when they interact with a child without ADHD.
Possible Stress Factors
A part of the distress you may be experiencing with your other half may be related to how a child’s disruptive behaviors are handled. Maybe one of you is concerned about a problem, while the other seems to not view it as urgent. Perhaps you both agree there is a problem, but you disagree about the cause or the strategy to address the problem. Sound familiar? Situations like these can fan the flames of discontent and tension within any relationship.
Interestingly, research finds that ADHD appears to create the greatest difficulty for parents when kids are in early childhood, as divorce rates of parents with and without ADHD children are not significantly different after a child passes the 8-year mark.
What This Means for You
Though having a child with ADHD can be quite a challenge at times, these challenges can be overcome with proper ADHD education and treatment, and parent training and support. Make sure you are both involved in your child’s treatment plan. If you are struggling to get on the same page, sit down with your child’s doctor. Ask questions. Express any concerns. Work together to come up with a successful treatment plan that you both can support. Think like a team. Communicate. Be supportive of one another. Take time to nurture your relationship with each other. You may be surprised to find that the challenges you face bring you closer together as partners.
Additional Reading:
Parenting a Child with ADHD
Parenting with ADD
How Can I Help My ADHD Child with His Behaviors?
Tips for Maintaining a Scream-Free Home
Improving Communication
The Three C’s of Parenting
Behavior Management and ADHD
Sources:
University at Buffalo. News Release. Couples with Children with ADHD at Risk of Higher Divorce Rates, Shorter Marriages. October 21, 2008.
Wymbs, B., Pelham W.E., Molina, B.S.G., Gnagy, E.M., Wilson, T.K., & Greenhouse, J.B. Rate and Predictors of Divorce Among Parents of Youth with ADHD. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. Vol 76(5), Oct 2008, 735-744.
